I haven’t had a cold relationship with her, but my usual sex is a little boring… At that time, why not try Soft SM. SM is not just a metamorphosis play, it is possible because there is compassion and cooperation from both the S and M sides. Not only is it boring, but you can also deepen your love. That said, not only does she hate her if she makes a mistake, but she can also hurt her. We will introduce the secrets of SM play, focusing on “Soft SM” that is especially recommended for beginners among SM play.
What is SM play?
The words S and M are used casually, such as “I, S because I am” and “I like being bullied because I am very M”. However, originally S (sadism) and M (masochism) are medical terms related to mental disorders. Sadism is pleasing to abusive taste, that is, bullying or hurting a person, and masochism, on the contrary, is pleasing to being bullied or hurt. SM play refers to all sex play based on sadism and masochism.
You may think, “Oh, after all, SM play is a metamorphosis?”, but as I mentioned earlier, the words “S” and “M” are now casual. It’s easy to use, just because I like being bullied and being bullied.
Everyone has the desire to bully their favorite child and be controlled by their favorite person. SM play with mutual consent and safety is neither perverted nor bad. On the contrary, if you play SM properly, you can deepen your relationship with your partner.
SM? What is BDSM? ?
As I mentioned earlier, S in SM means “Sadism” and M means “Masochism”. There is also the term “BDSM” with the addition of B (bondage) and D (training; Discipline). In other words, it is a generic term for playing to enjoy bullying and being bullied. BDSM is becoming more and more popular due to the hit feature film “Fifty Shades of Gray” and the movie based on it. There are cases where restraints and training are included in SM play, so it is not a mistake to regard it as “SM play ≒ BDSM”.
If we make a difference, SM is based on atrocities and atrocities, BD is based on domination and obedience. While SM gets pleasure from the act of giving or receiving pain, BD makes pleasure from the master-slave relationship itself.
We tend to think of “S = domination” and “M = obedience”, but SM and dominance/obedience should be considered separately. Some people may be confused by the complicated story, but I’m convinced that BDSM is such a deep world.
Have you ever been interested in SM?
You might be worried, “If you say you want to do SM play, you might think she’s a pervert…” As I mentioned earlier, SM is actually a term that describes a type of mental disorder. However, SM play that adheres to the rules is by no means a metamorphosis. Have you ever been in elementary school, chasing after a snake or frog, or turning up a skirt to your favorite girl? Everyone has the desire to be involved in bullying and to see cute reactions.
On the contrary, there is also a psychology that makes people happy when they are tampered with. It may be just a matter of being prepared and doing things that other people do not do.
Do you deeply relate, see cute reactions, do things that no one else does… Did you notice that sex has a lot in common? SM play is not a metamorphosis, it deepens the relationship with each other through the act of being bullied and bullied, and is no different from ordinary sex. There is no need to be ashamed of being interested in SM.
Software SM is recommended for the first time
SM plays a lot of pains such as binding and hitting, and if it is not successful, it may cause injuries or lose mutual trust. It’s not just about hurting, it’s a play that requires a lot of study and discipline, and is a high hurdle for beginners. First, let’s try from Soft SM. Soft SM has a lot of play that can be incorporated into everyday sex, such as word blame and blindfolds, so you can easily start it. If you repeat soft SM and find that each other wants to play more radically, you should gradually move to a harder SM.
Recommendations for long-standing couples
SM play is recommended for couples who have a long relationship. If you have a long relationship, sex will always be boring and your stimulus will disappear. By incorporating SM play there, you can eliminate boredom. Also, SM play will not work without mutual trust. If you don’t say what you want you to do and what you don’t like, you’ll end up in a sad time of pain and discomfort. If you have a long relationship, you can say what you want to say, so SM play will proceed smoothly. By accepting each other’s hopes, we will deepen our affection. For these two reasons, I can assure you that a couple with a long relationship should try SM play.
How to invite your partner to play SM
There are many people who want to play SM, but are worried that they don’t know how to invite their partners. We will introduce some ways to invite you to SM play, so please try according to your relationship with your partner and each other’s personality.
Do not use the word “SM play”
Women especially have a strong feeling of “I want to be right” and “I do not want to be thought of as an H girl”, and it is easy to resist the word SM play. Especially for women who haven’t experienced SM play, don’t use the word SM and ask, “Is it okay to play around with me today?” or “I bought a new toy, but let’s use it”. Would be
Create a situation where you’re doing it
For women who are resistant to SM, it is one way to create a situation where they are doing what they are doing. Women can also enjoy SM play under the “excuse” that “I don’t want to play SM play, but he just says…” Please devise a tactic according to your opponent’s character and your character, such as “Please! I absolutely want to do it!”
Slowly add SM flavor from everyday sex
Instead of doing SM play suddenly, it is also good to incorporate a little SM element from your usual sex. For example, try kissing forcibly, gently grasping both wrists and caressing while restraining them, and see the reaction of the other person. If you don’t hate to accept it, there is a lot of qualities of M. It is good to escalate little by little.
If you want to be M, it’s a little difficult. Women are basically passive and do not often attack themselves. It’s a good idea to start by gradually incorporating plays that are attacked by women, such as cowgirl and blowjob. If you are happy to be attacked, you may be able to stimulate the S-heart to attack more and to bully you.
Points to note when playing SM
Next, I would like to introduce the points to note when using SM play. It is important to confirm the reaction of the partner, and be careful not to damage the mind and body. These things also apply to normal sex, so keep this in mind as a regular caution.
Confirm the partner’s will firmly
Make sure to confirm the intention of your partner when playing SM. In particular, it is hard for a woman to say “no” to him. However, on the other hand, there are times when you are too embarrassed to say that you really want it done. Judging around here is difficult, so let’s go carefully.
Also, it is important to carefully check whether the woman feels or dislikes during the play. As with ordinary sex, “because the nipples are standing”, “wet”, and “being vocalized” are not the criteria for a woman to be happy. The nipples stand up if they are cold or touched. When it stimulates the vagina, it gets wet to protect the body. I want to finish it quickly, so I also make a false cry. Don’t let the menstrual phenomena and performances of such women play a role.
The important thing is not only to have sex, but to build a relationship of trust. It will clearly tell you what you want or don’t want. Keep in mind that sex and SM are built on trust and love.
Set a signal when you really want to stop
During SM play, it may be painful or uncomfortable and you may want it to stop, or your partner may want you to stop it. However, the words “pain” and “stop” often appear during play, and it is difficult to judge whether you are happy or want to stop. In addition, it is possible for the S side to get more excited by uttering such words, and the play will become more intense.
On the other hand, there is also a desire to stop because the S side is physically and mentally tired. At such times, there is a safe word as an easy-to-understand method and a method of interrupting play so as not to damage the mood. “Yellow” and “Red” are often used overseas. “Yellow” means “I want you to keep it a little mild (you can continue)”, and “Red” means “I want you to stop playing.” Anything is fine, so it’s a good idea to discuss with your partner the words you won’t use during play. Also, if you can’t speak in SM play that puts on your mouth, make a signal that you will stop once you hit your opponent’s flank.
These cues can also be used in everyday sex. Even if a woman is strongly touched and hurts, it’s hard to say “Stop it because it hurts.” A woman can feel relieved by making an arrangement such as “If you feel pain in the middle or want to stop, press lightly on my shoulder.”
Be careful about hygiene
Not to mention normal sex, but be careful of hygiene when playing SM. For example, bacteria such as dildo, which is a pseudo-penis that can be placed in the mouth and vagina, and anal balls that are placed in the anus, are prone to bacteria. You can keep it clean by choosing one that can be boiled and disinfected, or by using an antibacterial cleaner specifically for sex toys. The cleaning method differs for each device, so check the instructions. In addition, the play that licks the toes and anus, which is common in SM play, also causes bacteria and viruses to be taken into the body. Be sure to wash it thoroughly before using it.
Be careful of physical changes after SM play
One of the reasons why women hate SM play is that they leave a mark. Some women said that when their skin became red due to spanking or binding, it did not become red until the next day, and people around them pointed out that they were embarrassed. Let’s see if there is any change in your body after playing SM. If it becomes red, it will be easier to get red if you cool it.
Also, if you play incorrectly, you may be injured or injured. In fact, after the hit of “Fifty Shades of Gray” introduced earlier, the use of BDSM and sex toys became popular, and the problem of injury caused by it has occurred. When you play differently, start with soft things, find out how to use the correct sex toy, and listen to your partner’s impressions after the play, and try to be safe and enjoyable.
Does not correspond to crimes
Excessive SM can lead to crime. In SM play, cases such as using a whip or a candle to injure yourself or injuring yourself, or suffocating in bondage play may occur. Even if there is a reason “because the other party is pleased” or “because the other party asked”, it is a crime of injury or death.
Also, sexual activity outdoors or in public is obscene. Not only showing sex and masturbation to people, but playing with going out with a vibe in the body, which is common with soft SM, may be publicly obscene and guilty if anyone finds out. Let’s not do the act corresponding to the crime.
How to diagnose S (sad) or M (masochist)
Have you ever been told in a drinking party or in a talk with friends, “You are S?M?Which?”, “You are absolutely M!” However, I’m not sure whether I’m S or M. There may be times when you want to know if your partner is S or M, but you can’t even ask… I will show you how to diagnose S or M.
Are you S (sad) or M (masochist)?
First of all, diagnose yourself whether it is S or M. Answer the following questions with “yes” and “no” and count the number of “yes”.
・Dating and travel make your own schedule
・I get frustrated when my partner is late on a date
・I like to serve people, not just partners
・I am not good at spicy food
・Short-distance running is better than long-distance running
If the number of “Yes” is 3 or more, there is a tendency of S, and if not, there is a tendency of M.
A partner is S (sad) or M (masochist)
Next, let’s introduce how to check S or M from the behavior of the partner. First of all, ask the partner to show their palm and show the palm. Then ask them to “show your nails.” It is M if you bend your finger and show your nails, and S if you turn your hand over and show your nails. Also, say, “Close your eyes and hold your hands.” M if you squeeze both hands to pray, and S if you make a goo with both hands.
This diagnostic method is a bit of play, so I can’t trust it 100%, but if you do it well, you can talk SM smoothly while making jokes like “I bent my finger! You’re M”. You can also. It’s a good idea to know as one way.
What kind of SM play are there?
There are three types of SM play (BDSM). Plays that deprive freedom (blindfolds, restraints, etc.), mentally damaging play (word blame, etc.), and physically damaging play (candle play, spanking, etc.). Let’s introduce how to play and notes by dividing by level.
SM play contents for beginners
When you say SM play, you might imagine a hard thing like hitting with a whip, hanging a wax or hanging it tightly. However, there are many variations of SM play, and soft things are just a little more exciting than ordinary sex. First, let’s try such SM play for beginners.
Speaking of word blame, it is easy to think of a line that abuses the opponent, such as “Call this Queen, this male pig!”, “Open your legs, female dog!” In short, if you can excite your opponent with words, it is a word-blame play. Especially women often get pleasure from hearing information, so let’s usually blame them even if it is not SM play.
First, we whisper and praise love to relieve the tension of women. Say “I love you”, “I wanted to see you”, “It’s beautiful”, etc. If you praise a woman for what she thinks about the complex, such as “I have cute boobs, I love you” and “The shape of the dick is beautiful,” it will reduce the resistance to sex and make it easier to feel.
When a woman feels to some extent, we will add a word blame for liveness and impatience. Let’s say, “I’m getting wet so much already”, “What do you want me to do? Let me know and I’ll do it.”
If it’s a soft SM, it’s better to keep it around here, but if the opponent is a M woman, while watching the reaction, try using violent words such as “It’s a pervert woman”, “Lick it properly” Would be good too. However, you should never say anything that disfigures your opponent’s appearance, such as “You’re really ugly” or “I’m too fat and withered”.
Also, if you want women to blame you for words, it is better to try playing with women as the main subject such as blowjob and cowgirl. If a woman says, “I’m getting really big,” “What do you want me to do next,” etc., let’s show the other person how embarrassing and feeling you are. Men who love women also want to please. When you see your cute reaction, you will be motivated by it, and you will be more passionate about your words.
Of the five senses (visual, auditory, olfactory, tactile, taste) of human beings, it is said that the most information is obtained, which accounts for 80% of perceptual information. By shutting off the perception with a blindfold, other perceptions such as hearing and touch are sharpened, making it easier to feel word blame and caress. Also, especially when a woman feels the line of sight of her partner, she may not be able to concentrate on sex.
In such cases, play blindfolds and immerse yourself in sex. It’s quickest to wrap a long cloth or towel around your eyes, but a knot behind your head can be a hindrance when you lie down. I recommend the eye pillow. Originally designed for eye contact, it is easy to fit and safe, and even if it is placed on the bedside, there is no discomfort. There are also SM eye masks and face masks that open only the mouth, so if you get used to SM, you may want to take in such goods.
When playing blindfolds, be sure to get the consent of the opponent, and be sure to check whether you feel uneasy or uncomfortable while playing. In addition, you may get injured by hitting something or falling out of bed, so be careful about your safety.
Restrained play is a play in which the hands and feet are tied up so that they cannot move. It may be better to say that it is a play that enjoys the relationship of domination and obedience rather than SM play, as it corresponds to B of BDSM introduced earlier. By losing the freedom of the limbs, it gives you the feeling that you are under the control of the other party, adding to the shame that you are exposing everything, which greatly excites the excitement of the obedience side. In addition, the controlling side feels happy about the joy of freeing the opponent’s body.
Wrist restraints are recommended as an introduction to restraint play. With only one soft restraint, it does not expose the genitals or anus, so there will be little resistance even for the first time. Once you get used to it, restrain your wrists to the left and right of the bed to spread your body like a Y, further restrain your legs to make an X, and fold your thighs and calves to make an M. You can enjoy various play. The X-shaped and M-shaped restraints expose the shame, so you can stimulate the masochism of the obedience side and enjoy more sex.
However, restraint play is not intended to be painful. Restraining with a hard string or iron handcuffs may cause pain depending on the movement, and may cause the skin to become worn. Soft cotton ropes, bondage tapes, and restraints with fur are also sold for soft SM, so be sure to use them. There are some cute restraints that will tickle your heart, so it’s a good idea to choose with her.
It is a toy blame that I want to enjoy in combination with the restraint play introduced earlier. If you take away the freedom of your limbs and then tamper with what you feel with a toy, it will increase your sexuality due to the frustration of being unable to move. First, let’s play tickling with a brush and feathers. Rather than suddenly blaming the nipples and genitals, it stimulates from delicate areas such as the ears, neck, and side of the stomach. If you gradually move to the erogenous zone while being impatient, you will find that the tickling is transformed into a pleasurable pleasure.
If you get used to it, you may want to use a rotor or a vibe. The rotors and vibes are sex toys that vibrate by electricity, and the rotors are mainly used to blame the nipples and clitoris and the vibes to blame the inside of the vagina. It’s good to enjoy this play by hitting it over your underwear or blaming it from your inner thighs.
If you want her to blame you for toys, don’t just start with something like a sex toy, just ask her to use a makeup brush or brush that she normally uses. Would be
SM play contents for intermediate level and above
Soft SM that adds a little stimulus to your usual sex, but it also gets boring when you get used to it. If you become accustomed to SM play, let’s try the more radical play. It is necessary to consider mutual trust and safety more than for beginners, so please be sure to discuss with the opponent before playing and check the notes of play.
A candle play that is often raised as an image of SM play. It is said that the real pleasure is the fear of the fire approaching and the heat that continues until the wax solidifies. The candles for SM play have a lower temperature than ordinary ones and are designed to prevent burns. In addition, the color is mostly red, and if you leave a trace of blood on your white skin, it will keep your opponent’s body and life in your hands, and you will be able to satisfy your desire for control. In order to get the solidified wax, you can smoothly shift to playing with the whip.
However, even if the temperature is low, it is still a candle, so if you use it incorrectly, you will get burned. You can enjoy playing relatively safely by applying lotion to your body before playing, dropping wax from a high place, not relentlessly attacking the same part, using it on your stomach, arms, thighs, etc. It is also important to try it for yourself and see how hot it is before using it with other people.
Playing in anal feels queer, but that’s why I’m excited. In addition, since there are many nerves around the anal, the prostate in men and the vagina in women are stimulated at the same time, so you can get a strange pleasure that is a bit different from normal sex. However, anal is not a genital in the first place, so it is necessary to get used to it until you feel it. Let’s enjoy playing it as one of the “training”.
First, loosen the anus with lotion or oil and gently stimulate with a cotton swab.
Put your fingers in as you get used to it. Increase your fingers while watching the reaction of the other person. There are many bacteria on the fingers and anus, so take a shower before playing to keep it clean.
SM goods for anal play include anal beads and anal vibes. Anal beads are a series of multiple spheres, from small to large. Gradually start with the smaller spheres and, once you get used to it, the larger spheres. Be careful not to get stuck. There are various types of anal vibes, such as those with a series of spheres such as anal beads, and those with the shape of a finger or penis. Use the shape and size that suits your taste. Also, be sure to wear a condom when using it, and be careful to play cleanly.
Spanking is a slap, and in SM play, it is a slap in the butt. In the old days, there was a “butt pen” as a punishment for children. Parents who do “hip-pen” have the love of wanting to be good, not hate their children. In the same way, SM play spanking must be an act of feeling love in pain. Rather than just hitting the hips, the trick is to tap lightly and rhythmically so that the stimulus is easier to feel than the pain.
In addition, as a play similar to spanking, there are “wipping” with a whip, “paddling” with a small paddle, and “keying” with a cane-shaped whip. If you choose a device for soft SM, you can enjoy exciting play without feeling much pain. There is also a play that you hit with a ruler or slippers. In any case, if you hit it too hard, you’ll have pain and you won’t be able to sit down. Also, after playing, you can apply moisturizing cream to your hips, and it will be like a reconciliation ceremony after punishment, and your love will deepen.
It is also recommended to customize SM play
SM Play has various repertoires depending on the goods and equipment used. Also, you can enjoy combining multiple plays such as “Blindfold + Restraint” or “Restriction + Toy Blame”. In addition, it is fun to think about various situations such as “Subordinates who make mistakes and punish them by their boss” and “The princess of the defeated country is violated by the generals of the enemy country” and perform image play. It’s also fun to talk to your partner and customize your play so that your usual sex can be a little extraordinary and exciting.
How do you get adult goods for SM play?
Next, I will explain how to get adult goods for SM play. In particular, women are reluctant to carry anything that is obvious as adult goods or SM goods. First of all, it’s a good idea to gradually take in things that are comfortable at home.
Use things at home
If you are doing Soft SM for the first time, you should use the ones at home. As I mentioned earlier, using eye pillows for blindfold play, makeup brushes for tickle play, etc. If you enjoy playing from the extension of the play, women can accept without difficulty. Also, you can use familiar items such as clothespins to pinch your nipples or suck your nipples with a straw, depending on your ideas. However, it is not good for hygiene to use something used for other purposes in the body, especially in the body. Also, playing with food such as vegetables and konjac is not good for hygiene. Try to use clean and new items for play, and refrain from inserting them into your body.
Buy at home center
If the adult shop suddenly has a high threshold, it is fun to find something that can be used for SM play at the home center. Often used are massage machines and electric toothbrushes, which can be used in place of the rotor. It’s also recommended to hit the dick with a handy fan. It is also possible to use hypoallergenic baby oil or lotions for women’s delicate zones for lotion play. However, in any case, it is not designed for use in sex, so if you feel pain or discomfort, stop playing immediately and be careful about safety.
Buy online shopping
If you want to enjoy SM play in earnest, you should buy specialty goods. If you purchase it by mail order, even if you have a family, it will be delivered in a package that you do not know. It’s made for SM play, so you can enjoy playing with confidence. Recently, the number of SM goods with beautiful colors such as pink and purple and cute designs that are easily accepted by women is increasing. It’s fun to pick up while talking with her.
Where to play SM play
Decide what kind of SM play you want to play, and decide where to play after buying goods. As with ordinary sex, it is important to create an environment in which SM play can be concentrated on play with peace of mind. Here are some recommended places for SM play.
Home is the most relaxing place to focus on SM play. It’s also a place where I always have sex, but with a little restraint and using a toy, the usual space turns into an extraordinary and exciting place. However, if you live in an apartment, the walls may be unexpectedly thin, and you may hear noises and sounds next to you. Please be careful when playing with loud screams or sounds such as spanking.
If you want to enjoy a bit of full-scale SM play, love hotels are a good choice. You can concentrate on playing without the opportunity of voices and sounds. Some love hotels sell sex toys and rent costumes, so you can enjoy playing differently. Also, some hotels have rooms with SM restraints. In an extraordinary mood, you’ll find her more exciting and bold.
Deprecated in public places
Some erotic DVDs have themes such as outdoor sex, bondage, and public masturbation. It’s very inspiring and you might want to try it once, but as I said, sexually acting or getting naked in public places is a publicly obscene sin. If you absolutely want to play SM in an open place, it’s best to do it at a love hotel with an outdoor terrace or open-air bath.
Questions in the first SM play
Before doing SM play, talk with your partner and if there are any questions, ask each other to eliminate your anxiety. In particular, questions such as “You may be disliked by doing SM play” and “You may be distressed even though you are happy” may not be solved online or in books.
Be sure to ask the other party to confirm SM play and how much you can do. Also, even if there is an agreement, if you hurt the opponent or make the opponent feel uncomfortable with excessive play, you may break the relationship. It is important to have a solid discussion before playing, whether you are not in pain during the play, whether you are enjoying each other comfortably, and doing SM play while communicating.
S side consideration, M side compassion
SM play is not just painful or painful play. It is said that S can be done only by studying hard, and it is necessary to familiarize yourself with how to use toys and SM goods, and the physical and mental reactions of the other party.
It is possible to think that S is actually “submissive” to M, considering that the other side can only feel and be pleased while being the controlling side. In addition, M does not just receive the service of S, but he does not convey to the S side with compassion so as not to disturb the mood of play, saying “This is comfortable”, “I do not want this to happen” Do not In other words, it is M, not S, that is playing the lead, so M is “controlling”. SM play (BDSM) is a brilliant interplay between atrocities and atrocities, as well as domination and obedience.
Summary of SM play
I’ve talked about SM play. SM play is not just a kinky or perverted act, it is based on mutual love and compassion, and is no different from ordinary sex. Learn how to play correctly, and proceed slowly while watching the reaction of the opponent. Get new pleasures and a stronger bond than ever with loved SM play with a trusted partner.